The Quest

Verily did the Warrior Matron cast herself into the small cavern beneath the desk upon which sits the computer, and found that there were within cables like unto Devil's Snare which sought to entrap her in their coils. And lo, there also were gossamer threads woven by the descendants of Shelob and Aragog. Yet bravely did she toil and bravely did she thrust her bare arm into the crevice from which the cables descend, though by some magic it snapped upon her arm and bit her fierce. And yet she labored on until at last she discovered the futility of her quest on realizing that this labor required two valiant souls. 

But still the vision of the larger goal bestirred her heart, and yea did she connect the monitor, and yea did she attach the keyboard with its mousy familiar, and yea did she awake the great power of the grid. And though the cables writhe upon the desk, and sound there is not, and printing there is not, and she is sore-wounded unto the requiring of the ointment of Neosporin, yet, forsooth, there is Microsoft Office and there is Publisher, and she hath the power to summon the battle of the bulletin to her home.

AMDG