Heather King writes in Shirt of Flame: A Year with St. Therese of Lisieux:
All along I had thought that the Attachment, or midlife crisis, or dark night of the soul, or whatever my experience had been, was a terrible stumbling block, a sign of shameful weakness, evidence of some core, incurable insanity: in short, The Problem. Now I knew that, in some very difficult, mysterious way, it had actually been The Solution. My struggle went way beyond any relationship with, or way of seeing, a mere human being. All along, I had thought my error lay in failing to find the formula to love correctly, unselfishly, when the very idea of trying to perfect myself, with respect to human relationships--or any other way--was the real problem.
Forget trying to achieve your own holiness, Therese seemed to be saying: you are infinitely too feeble, weak, and misguided to accomplish anything on your own. You're like a bleating lamb, wandering blindly around with your divided, wayward heart. You're like a lost sheep, trying to get spiritual good marks by denying your humanity. You're like a straying member of the flock, off in a corner trying to heal your own wounds and relieve your own obsessions. Stop struggling, and the kingdom of God will be accomplished through you. Sit down on the floor, like a baby, and Christ will bend down and lift you up.
I'm in a bit of a rush today. I hope to write more later, but I'm not sure I'll get time.