When you've been walking the Camino for the past 30 days (or is it 31?), and getting your blisters pierced by needles which deposit threads in the middle of them, you might just need some serious foot care when you get home. So, here you go.
I love the last bullet point: Finally giving women the beauty of wearing open toe shoes without shame. Well now, I know that's something that I lie awake in bed worrying about, and I'm sure that all you women out there do too.
This reminds me of a story. Shortly after my son told me that he was going to get married, I noticed that I had this little black dot underneath the left side of my right toe nail. I didn't worry too much about it, and figured I must have dropped something on it since my life is just one long, painful battle with gravity. But about a week later, I noticed I had an identical black dot underneath the right side of my left toe nail. I thought this might call for a visit to the dermatologist.
Well, the dermatologist looked at it, and he called his partner in, and she looked at it, and said that it might be melanoma, and I could go have a biopsy, or I could wait a month and see what happened. I chose the former. So, I sat on the edge of the examining table with my feet dangling and the doctor rolled up on a stool that was really close to the ground and looked pretty uncomfortable for a guy that was over 6' tall. He had a sort of basset houndish face, and after he examined my toes, he rolled back a bit, folded his hands between his knees, bowed his head and assumed a lugubrious expression. He observed a moment of silence.
Uh-oh, I thought, this doesn't look too good. I said, "You don't look very happy," and he said, "Well, it's not a happy thing." Oh dear. After a bit he continued, "These spots could be melanoma, but it's pretty rare and I've never seen that before, but the only way to be sure is to remove part of your toenails, and they won't ever look right again." Ha, I was thinking that I was going to have to attend my son's wedding posthumously. and he was worried that I might not be able to wear open-toed shoes! I told him that I really wasn't all that concerned with having perfect toenails, and he said, "Yes, but you don't want to look like a monster."
Sometimes I sit and try to imagine what someone would have to do to your toenails to make you look like a monster--something so dreadful that it couldn't be hidden by a pair of Keds. Well, whatever that might be, it didn't happen to me and as far as I can see, once the nails grew out they looked just about like they did before--not especially lovely, but a far cry from monstrous. And it wasn't melanoma either, which was a nice bonus.
I never really had any intention of attending Michael's wedding in open-toed shoes, by the way. I had some heels for the wedding, and some flats to change into for the reception. For driving to the reception, I brought some black, canvas Keds flats with a gros grain bow on the toes held on by big black buttons, and I forgot to take them off when I got there. I think I remembered while Michael and I were having our mother/son dance, and after that I figured why change and be uncomfortable. It's a good thing my dress was long.